How do you stay calm in the chaos? – How do i? How does anyone? What does ‚calm‘ mean anyway? Are you calm? Am i? Do i stay? How?
Literally, i sometimes just do not stay calm in the chaos. What do i do? I completely deny there is any chaos AT ALL.
Because admitting the chaos would lead to instant breathing incapability, tears and melt down. Admitting the chaos would mean: Standing in the middle of the street screaming at the universe asking what the hack that was for and what i did to deserve it all!!!
Obviously the most stupid question, to ask what you did to deserve it all. Don’t. Ever. Ask. That. Question! Just don’t. Not only is noone answering, universe all busy with the more important things like keeping the whole thing running and all. But more important: You possibly didn’t do anything wrong. Some things just happen. Sometimes, shit happens. Sometimes, chaos is crashing in.
So how do you keep calm? How do i?
I clearly have developed some super advanced techniques in the last couple of years. Watching 5 hours of Grey’s anatomy in a row is one of them. Hitting a wall WAS one of them. (Don’t worry, i don’t do THAT any more, not since my friends gifted me with a punching ball). What else? Sleeping. Seriously. As soon as there shows some impossible-to-solve-problem on the horizon, i immediately get indredibly tired. Knock-out like. System Shut Down. Ask tomorrow again.
If you ever meet me in the chaos, one way to rescue me (or the other chaos participants): Take me to the sauna. Let me sweat, let me feel my body, let me experience that there are so many more prescious things in this world than fight, worry or loss. Things like a healthy body. Things like my lungs breathing in and out all naturally and stuff. All by themselves! I don’t have to do anything! They just do it!
Miracles happen in the chaos.
Clearly watching Grey’s anatomy is a great deal to stay calm in your own chaos. All this drama? All these people suffering from the most incredible diseases – that i DO NOT CARRY! All this love drama they have to go through – that I DO NOT SUFFER! All this drama they voluntarily create for themselves?
And that brings me to the point. We create our drama. This is not some universal playwright entertaining all existence on thursday night for primetime. We decide whether to feel the stings, the pain, the crazy freaking unfairness – or not. So this is why i sometimes just pretend that NOTHING HAS HAPPENED! Because – it has not. For – let me quickly google – ah well yeah – for 7632527880, no -881, no – 882 human beings, (number changing every freaking SECOND – we get more by the very moment), so for all these human beings on this planet – Nothing. Happend. And i am not even counting all other living beings on this planet.
I repeat: Nothing. Happend. Or, something else happened. A sweet summer breeze. A love declaration. A hug. Or maybe a fight. Or no meal. But – not MY drama. Just around the corner: They are all fine.
So maybe – really – nothing happened?! Maybe – if they are fine – i am fine, too? Anyway. I do have a bed. And good friends. And food in the fridge. And a beating heart capable of all these most amazing feelings. I do have family. Crazy family. But still. I do have lungs. There is air. And a punching ball. I AM FINE!
All is well.
I remember discovering this secret some years ago. On my bike. Seriously, people: Go ride your bikes. Some good thoughts come out of riding bikes. Just go somewhere and let your thoughts come with you.
On this particular ride, it suddenly occured to me that i am the queen of my drama. Me. Queen. Of drama. Not the other ones are the kings and queens in this realm called my drama. The ones that do not behave the way i want them too. Not the beautiful man acting stupid. Not the boss being unpleasant. ME. Me reacting in my way. Thinking they were acting the worst possible way. Feeling distress, pain, deep anger. Well, it is my choice all the way, i guess.
On this one particular ride, i discovered that it is very well one (beautiful) possibility to simply give a fuck. To say out loud: Well, fuck it. Not such a big deal. A little of a deal, maybe, but not big if i do not make it big.
So. How to stay calm in the chaos? Pretend there is no chaos. Have dinner. Breathe. Watch a series. Sleep. Sleep some more. Wake up. Take care. Keep calm. Drink tea. Take care. Walk on.
You probably do have your own rescue team. Mine is pasta, sauna, bed, water. Or friends, quick cry, pasta, bed. Or bathtub, bed, tea. Nevertheless, i know by now that within the next three to four hours, i will feel normal, capable and calm again.
It’s not always the one-minute-way out of my drama, but neither is it the 5-days-out-of-drama (and on-the-way-producing-some-more) – way.
So this is, actually, my way how i stay calm in the chaos. Ah, means, how i stay calm. Always. (Cause, there is no drama. Right?)
How do you?